"N" Returns

"N" walked into our office again on Wednesday afternoon. I was pleasantly surprised as I wasn't sure whether I would see him again.

Yes, we had a great talk that first day in my office. He told me he was ready to get his life on track. Being the hopeless optimist that I am I was more than ready to believe him. After all if he wasn't determined to make a new start, why would he -- alone among his "Tribe" buddies -- risk climbing the stairs to a strange place to bare his soul to a relative stranger? But during our first talk I couldn't help but see that he was nervous and hesitant. He had a way of pausing in mid-sentence and gasping for air as he shared parts of his story with me. Would he have the strength to make a clean break from his old habits and old friends and claw his way out of the hole? Hard to tell. After that first meeting, I simply told him to go away, think about our discussion for a few days, and come back if he wanted to talk some more.

So here he was. Back for more. Among the many "regrets" he spoke of was the fact that he had been such a disappointment to his family. One of his goals now was to show them he could amount to something and eventually pay his mother back for her support -- support which he acknowledged is critical to him during a time immediately after prison when he has no job and no place to live. Maybe this is exactly what he needs, I thought, a sense of purpose as he pulls his live together, step by hard step.

At the end of our little talk I gave him a copy of a form we use with our high school students. We call it the "Game Plan". Each of them takes the time to fill it in, starting with short term and long term goals and then moving on to all the little steps it will take to reach these goals -- steps related to personal attitude, friends, education, family and more. The idea is for a completed Game Plan to serve as a personal guide to the future. And a signed Game Plan is meant to signify a commitment to that future. Would N take the time to fill it out? Would the very idea of a Game Plan be too much for him at this stage? I sent him off with his homework assignment, once again unsure whether I would see him again.